I’m a third year missionary serving at the United States Air Force Academy.

I would not be Catholic if it weren’t for FOCUS missionaries.

I grew up in a loving household with my parents and older sister. I would describe our family as lukewarm Catholics, but the aspect of our faith that my parents always encouraged was kindness, even though they didn’t always directly tie it to our faith. Kindness along with learning hard work and discipline from playing sports and going through the IB program at school, shaped my character.

As I grew up, somewhere along the way I began to subconsciously believe that my value came from how well I lived those qualities and from how others responded to me. The praise that came with athletic success, good grades, and fitting in with the right people became a source of validation. By the time I arrived at the University of Northern Colorado, this way of thinking and acting took root into my mind and heart. On the outside, things were good, but interiorly I was wrestling with this desire to be completely accepted. The thought of not being successful or having the ideal social status was really scary because it left me with thoughts like, “am I enough?” In my second year of college at the University of Northern Colorado, I realized that my understanding of life was far from the truth. Without even realizing it, I saw myself as a project to be fixed and God as a distant Father.

As the missionaries won my heart to Jesus through friendship, my heart was being softened. We had so many good conversations and shared so many deep belly laughs. I felt delighted in… Not because of what I did or could do, but for who I am. Quirks and all! But the best part was that in many of our conversations, I was called higher by them. I was honored that there were people who cared about me so much that they would bring something up, even when it was challenging, that was keeping me from deeper relationship with them, myself, or God. I learned so much about the Father’s love through these virtuous friendships.

Olivia, the missionary who walked with me

While growing in friendship with them, I started to frequent the sacraments again and prayed daily. It was in these moments in the chapel where the Lord was not only softening my heart, but knitting it together! His gaze for me pierced my heart over and over again as He just smiled and cherished me, even when I saw myself with all my weaknesses and sins. Knowing the truth of the Father’s love for me completely changed the trajectory of my life. The outside didn’t change drastically, but the interior freedom that I was experiencing was not like anything I had experienced before. Loving myself, my neighbor, and God became so much easier and brought me immense joy.

Then, when a missionary told me that by the virtue of my baptism, I am called to live mission, I was so intimidated. Even after developing a life of prayer and growing in the habits of a disciple, the thought that the Lord would choose me to serve Him was mind blowingly crazy. While I was starting to accept that I am enough and that God looks at me like I’m His treasure, it takes time for that belief of “I’m a project to be fixed” to heal. I felt so unworthy and scared of messing up, but through prayer and conversations with friends and mentors, the Lord confirmed to me over and over that He is with me, and that trusting Him in this next step of discipleship will bring about transformation. In my life, my families, my friends, and those women, who like me, are seeking true fulfillment. This joy and freedom can only be found in Jesus, and I am excited to accompany those women who will be experiencing God’s healing power! Some for maybe even the first time. Praise Jesus.

The Chapel where I fell in love with Jesus

One of the greatest gifts we could ever receive is knowing that we were made for something more. Made for a relationship with a God who loves us, who saved us from sin and death, and who invites us into a beautiful and meaningful life as His children.

It is both humbling and powerful to be used by God to share this gift with students. But this mission isn’t possible without you. Your support makes it possible to reach students who are searching for truth, belonging, and purpose. Even one transformed life can have a ripple effect. It impacts relationships, families, parishes, businesses, and entire communities. I have experienced this in my own life and have witnessed it in others.

If you feel called to be a part of this mission with me, I would love to connect. It would be an honor to share this mission with you.