No matter your age or season of life, one thing is true: we’re not meant to follow Jesus alone.
Living as a disciple today takes courage, consistency—and the right people around you. Sometimes knowing how meet and cultivate Christian friends is hard. Whether you’re navigating college life, starting your career, raising a family, or enjoying retirement, having Christian friends who encourage you to live for Christ makes all the difference.
Without those kinds of friends, it’s easy for our spiritual fire to fade. But when we surround ourselves with others who are striving for holiness, our faith is strengthened. We remember who we are and what really matters.
“A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter: he that has found one has found a treasure.”
— Sirach 6:14
Imagine a charcoal fire. When the coals are together, they stay hot. But if you separate one, it cools quickly.
The same goes for our spiritual lives. We need people walking beside us in faith—especially when life gets hard. We need to meet Christian friends who remind us of the truth, encourage us when we’re weary, and help us keep going are one of God’s greatest gifts.
The 3 Kinds of Friendship
Friendship can take many forms, but not all friendships are created equal. The philosopher Aristotle described three types, and they still ring true today:
1. Friendship of Utility
These are friendships based on mutual benefit—like coworkers, classmates, or someone you team up with on a group project or committee. You may enjoy each other, but the connection is mostly practical.
2. Friendship of Pleasure
These friendships are built around shared interests or fun activities—your go-to movie buddy, someone you hike with, or the friend you always invite to brunch. These can be genuine, but they tend to fade when your routines or hobbies change.
These two types aren’t bad—but they’re fragile. If the convenience or fun goes away, often so does the friendship.
3. Virtuous Friendship
This is the deepest kind. A virtuous friend wants what’s truly good for you. They care about your soul. They want to help you get to heaven.
Virtuous friendships grow when both people are striving to become better—to grow in holiness, patience, courage, humility, and love. These friendships take time, trust, and intentionality. But they’re worth it. They’re the kind that change lives.
Friendship at Every Age
For College Students & Young Adults:
College is full of friendships—but not all of them lead you closer to Christ. Ask yourself: Do my closest friends help me live out my faith? Do they call me higher when I’m tempted to settle?
Look to meet Christian friends who challenge you in love, not just cheer you on. Join a Bible study. Attend a retreat. Share your faith honestly. You’ll be amazed how deep friendships can grow when they’re rooted in Christ.
For Middle-Aged Adults:
In the midst of careers, family responsibilities, or busy schedules, friendship can feel like a luxury. But we still need it. Faith-filled friendships bring strength, clarity, and accountability. They remind us we’re not alone—and that our mission doesn’t end when life gets full.
Even a monthly coffee or a prayer partner can reignite your spiritual fire.
For Older Adults:
Later seasons of life are often filled with wisdom and reflection—but they can also bring loneliness. If you’re in this season, don’t underestimate how much your presence and faith can encourage others. Look for opportunities to mentor or be mentored, and meet Christian friends through community like parish life, Bible study groups, or volunteering.
It’s never too late to form or deepen friendships that lead to heaven.
“Iron sharpens iron, and one person sharpens another.”
— Proverbs 27:17
When Friendships Need Adjusting
Sometimes, we need to take a hard look at our relationships. Are there people we love, but who consistently pull us away from Christ? That doesn’t mean we cut them out—but it may mean we shift the dynamic, set boundaries, or seek out others to help keep us grounded in our faith.
And don’t forget—you can be the virtuous friend someone else needs. Even if your friends aren’t Christian, you can be a light. Your love, patience, and consistency might be what leads them closer to Jesus.
Saints Come in Pairs (or groups)
Saints rarely become saints alone. Think of:
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St. Francis Xavier and St. Ignatius of Loyola
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St. Teresa of Avila and St. John of the Cross
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St. Perpetua and St. Felicity
- Martyrs of Damascus
Their friendships fueled their missions. Yours can too.
Let your friendships be more than just good company—let them be a path to heaven.
Additional Resources
Here are some talks and videos to help you build faith-filled friendships and grow as a disciple:
On SEEK Replay:
- What Even is Discipleship?
- Committing to Life as a Disciple
- Theology of the Body – Understanding Who You Are
- Identity and Freedom in the Father’s Gaze
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