Wondering what to do when your family leaves the Church?
It’s one of the hardest things to experience as a Catholic—watching someone you love walk away from the faith. Maybe it’s a sibling who grew distant from the Church after high school, a close friend who started questioning Catholic teachings, or even a parent who slowly stopped practicing. You feel the ache in your heart, the worry for their soul, and the uncertainty of what to do next.
So how do you respond when someone you love leaves the Church? How do you hold onto hope without pushing them further away?
Here’s the good news: God hasn’t given up on them—and neither should you.
1. Pray
Before you say a single word to them, bring them to Jesus in prayer. No argument, no perfectly worded conversation, and no social media post can change hearts the way God’s grace can.
- Pray the Rosary for them. Mary is the mother of all prodigal children.
- Offer sacrifices for them—fasting, small inconveniences, hidden acts of love.
- Go to Eucharistic Adoration and place them before Jesus.
- Pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet, entrusting them to God’s infinite mercy.
Prayer is the most important thing you can do.
2. Stay Close to Them
It’s tempting to feel hurt, disappointed, or even betrayed when someone leaves the Church. But the last thing they need is for you to cut them off.
Instead of pulling away, be the one who keeps showing up. Keep calling, keep inviting, keep being a friend. Let them know that your love for them isn’t dependent on whether they share your beliefs.
Why? Because when life gets hard—and it will—they’ll remember who stuck by them. And they’ll know they can turn to you.
3. Listen Before You Speak
It’s easy to assume we know why someone left the Church, but every story is different. Some leave because of a painful experience with a priest or parishioner. Others struggle with Church teachings. Some drift away without even realizing it.
Ask questions like:
- What led you to this decision?
- What’s been your experience with the Church?
- What do you believe now?
And then—really listen. Not to argue, not to correct, but to understand.
When people feel heard, they become more open. And when they become more open, God has room to work.
4. Share Your Faith with Joy
Nobody wants to be “won” in an argument. But everyone is drawn to authentic joy.
Instead of lecturing, live a life that makes them wonder what they’re missing. Let them see the peace you have in suffering, the joy you find in prayer, the love you have for the Eucharist.
When they see the beauty of your faith—not just in words, but in action—they might start to wonder if they should take another look.
5. Trust in God’s Timing
It’s easy to panic and feel like you have to bring them back right now. But remember: this isn’t your battle alone.
- St. Monica prayed for years before her son, St. Augustine, returned to the faith.
- God’s mercy is bigger than their doubts, struggles, or mistakes.
- He loves them even more than you do.
Don’t lose hope. Even if you don’t see the fruits of your prayers right away, God is always working behind the scenes.
6. Keep Inviting
A simple invitation can go a long way.
- Invite them to Christmas or Easter Mass.
- Ask them to come with you to a Catholic conference (SEEK!), retreat, or talk.
- Suggest reading a book or watching a video together about faith.
They might say no—but they’ll remember that you cared enough to ask.
7. Love Them No Matter What
At the end of the day, this step is integral to understanding what to do when your family leaves the Church.
Our job isn’t to “fix” people—it’s to love them like Jesus does.
And trust that God is never done writing their story.
It’s hard when someone you love walks away from the Church. But don’t lose heart. Keep praying, keep showing up, and keep trusting that God’s grace is bigger than any obstacle.
And remember—their story isn’t over yet.
Watch this video from Fr. Mike Schmitz on what to do when your family leaves the Church:
Additional Resources
Parent with grown children considering leaving the Church? Check out this post from EWTN on how to use St. Monica as a guide through this difficult time. And here’s one from Pints with Aquinas on this same topic.
Get more practical guidance from our other blog posts, like What Is the Point of Godparents?, How to Pick a Parish (and Why It Matters!), and What is a Catholic Pilgrimage and Why Should You Go On One?
For more inspiration, dive into SEEK Replay, where you’ll find keynotes from speakers like Fr. Mike Schmitz on the truth behind our sins and God’s infinite love for us.
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