I started college with a firm conviction to keep my Faith at the forefront of my life. Looking back however I realized I didn’t truly understand all that entailed. I desperately threw myself into the Newman center on Pittsburg State University’s campus thinking just being around the church was all I had to do to get closer to God. I quickly realized this was not the case. I faced certain roadblocks in my chase for God, as our Newman center was under construction, I felt detached in a way. This detachment led to particular vices to seep into my life, such as drug and alcohol abuse.

Once the Newman was finished with construction I firmly believed “Now I can start to get closer to God.” This was not the case. I had grown accustom to my new way of living and had no intentions to change that. So what came to be I’m not proud of, I became lukewarm in every sense of the word. I would come to events and maybe an occasional daily mass, then live for my own pleasures on the weekends. This double life started to take a toll on me, and eventually I decided I need to chose one, and I chose poorly. The next few years were a dark period for me as I was living completely separated from God, only going to Sunday mass to keep my mom off my back.

All of this came to a drastic change on January 1rst, 2024. This was were I hit my rock bottom moment, or my eating with the swine moment taken from the prodigal son. But it also led me to a great conversion. It made me realize I need God in my life. Nervously I made my way back to the very same Newman center and much to my surprise I was welcomed with wide open arms. It was in this time I made my greatest friends who were all so on fire for God that it soon set my heart ablaze. In my discernment for Focus I had this great conviction come to me in prayer that of whom much is given much is expected. And as I was gifted in so many ways by God in coming back to my faith, I realized I wish to do what my friends have done for me on a larger scale. I often look inward and see where I once was, and how I knew God existed and I think I liked him, to now where I know I’ve fallen deeply in love with God, and I long to help any one else who is lost like I was fall in love with him too.