In this personal testimony, we’re giving the spotlight to Tanner Kalina, who served as a FOCUS Catholic missionary for two years at the University of Colorado Boulder.
Before becoming a FOCUS missionary, I was an actor in Los Angeles. I had a decent living, a solid group of Christian friends, and a serious relationship. On the surface, I had everything—but there was something missing. I didn’t have the relationship with Jesus that I deeply desired. Despite the external success, I felt an ache, a longing to pour into others, but I didn’t know how. So, I took a leap, left my career, and joined FOCUS.
That decision led to the hardest and most transformative two years of my life. I became a stranger in my friend group, and my relationship ended. I went from living “the good life” in LA to being just another face on a college campus. When I pulled up to campus I told myself, “I’ll give it a month.” But praise God, I kept showing up. Where I was weak, He was strong.
Along with the other FOCUS Catholic missionaries, I fortified my prayer life, leaned on the sacraments, fundraised a modest salary, battled insecurities, and committed daily to the mission. I led Bible studies with zero confidence, took feedback from my (much younger) boss, and kept trusting the Lord through every challenge. And then, something incredible happened—things got better.
The Lord moved in my life. I made new friends, healed from past hurts, and fell in love with the mountains of Colorado—and with a wonderful, holy woman. Most importantly, I grew in my relationship with Jesus. My heart softened toward my teammates, my care for students deepened, and I became more confident in sharing the Gospel. The very core of who I am changed.
As I pack up my things in Boulder, I know that the hearts I invested in changed too—not because of me, but because the Lord worked through my small efforts. As a going-away gift, my students created a video, thanking me for the impact I had on their lives. One of them said something that struck me: “If it wasn’t for you, I don’t know if I’d be alive.” I didn’t need their affirmations, but they confirmed something I’ve known for a while—it was worth it.
If Tanner’s story resonates with you, and you feel called to make a difference by sharing Christ with others, we invite you to consider joining FOCUS as a Catholic missionary. Learn more here.
Even if it was for just one person, it was worth it. Even if it was for one soul to have a deeper conversion down the road, it was worth it. And even if it was just for me to grow in intimacy with the Lord, it was absolutely worth it.
The satisfaction of watching these students grow in their prayer lives far outweighs any joy I experienced as an actor. Knowing and serving Christ is more fulfilling than any other way of life. In emptying myself, the Lord filled me up in ways I never imagined.
Could I have found this experience elsewhere? Maybe. I tried for years, but there’s a difference between desiring to live out mission and actually doing it. FOCUS equipped me with the tools to practice my faith concretely—to lead Bible studies, evangelize, and reach out to strangers with courage.
Sainthood feels tangible and more attainable than ever before. I have my students, my fellow FOCUS Catholic missionaries and all the FOCUS staff, and my pastor to thank for that. But above all, I have the Lord to thank. I wouldn’t trade these two years for anything in the world. Praise God.
Tanner’s testimony is a powerful reminder that while the life of a missionary comes with challenges, it offers deep, lasting rewards. His story reflects the beauty of trusting God’s plan, even when the path is uncertain.
Before you go, Tanner has a new book out titled “Aching for Greatness: Discover God’s Love in the Restless Search for More.” You can get online or in bookstores!
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Additional Resources
Want to hear from other missionaries about their journeys as FOCUS Catholic missionaries? Connor Fry shares his testimony as a first year missionary.
To read more articles like this, check out FOCUS Equip.
Are you ready to take a step towards Christ? Say yes to joining us at SEEK this year in Salt Lake City and Washington, D.C.! Registration is now open!
Are you Catholic and looking to work in a place that fosters and shares your faith? Check out our blog article with ideas for your next role!
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